This morning, I woke up to a sunrise that looked nothing like this. It was actually 6:15 am as I was leaving my overnight shift and the moon was shining, partially covered, and gorgeous. My thoughts went immediately back to this past summer, as many mornings were spent sitting on the back stairs at the orphanage waiting for the sun to rise. I enjoyed those quiet mornings before the kids woke for the day, but there was nothing better than having one of them joining me by 6am to sing "Jesus Loves Me." I miss those sweet moments.
As I started my car, Phillips, Craig and Dean were singing, "You are amazing God ..." (on the radio, silly, they weren't in my car) and I just sat in the parking lot a few moments, thanking and praising Him and asking that He keep my babies safe another day in Haiti, as they were waking to a sunrise similar to the one you see above. I miss them with every fiber of my being some days. Today is one of them. I don't know why it comes and goes like it does, but it does. I think it is getting more difficult to be away from them lately because we are now in the home that we will bring them home to. I am in the process of putting bunk beds together for Lexi and Emily and have a little alphabet train set sitting on the dresser in Dourison's room that I can't wait to see him play with for the first time.
I don't even try to understand how things in Haiti work. In many areas, on many levels, I will never be able to comprehend the crazy things that go on there. It doesn't make sense to me that I can't just pay the money and take my babies home instead of having to go through all the rigamaroll of the process and allow years to go by while they are living day to day in an orphanage without a mom to hold and comfort and love on them. It kills me some days to think about it. I usually don't let myself think about it ... but that hasn't happened today, the thoughts keep returning. I am SO thankful for the time I was able to spend with both Emily and Dourison this summer and I will cherish it forever ... especially on days like this. I am so blessed by the fact that I already know the children I am adopting, so many don't have that privaledge. I am incredibly thrilled that Lexi not only knows them, but adores them and can't wait to have them here with us.
Emily is a lot like Lexi. She has a very fun personality and loves to sing and dance. This was the last photo I took of Emily before we left Haiti in August. Everytime I look at it, my heart aches and I want to hop on a plane and go pick her up. I miss her dearly. Lexi is finished playing with her Barbie dolls, and has been for quite some time now. When we were moving, she insisted on going through them all and choosing ones that she wanted to keep for Emily. She chose special dolls and certain outfits and kept her little house and cars because she can't wait to give them to her sister someday. She is thrilled that I am working on their bunkbed and picked out matching comforters for them both. She even chose bright pink ... and Lexi is not a pink sort-of kid!
Dourison's personality is quite a bit different than that of Lexi and Emily. He is very quiet and inquisitive. He is very tiny for his age and has the biggest, most gorgeous brown eyes ever. Lexi has so looked forward to having a baby brother and can't wait until he is here. Since we moved a week and a half ago, she has slept in Dourison's room because her bed isn't ready. She has a big trainset downstairs that she can't wait to share with him and says that he will probably let her play with the alphabet one too. Dourison loves to be held and cuddled and Lexi (and I) was all about that this summer. Once you get to know him, he is SO much fun. He loves playing with cars and trucks and you can really get him laughing and see his full personality when you goof around with him. I can't wait to have my precious boy back in my arms.
The next time we see our babies in Haiti, they will be 3 years old ... we pray that we will get to go back again after that and take them home with us before they turn 4. God has it all worked out and we know beyond a shadow of doubt that we want to be in His will and trust His perfect timing ... no matter when I think we should have them! Tomorrow morning when I wake to the moon shining brightly again, and picture my babies as they awake up to their beautiful Haiti sunrise, I know one thing for certain ... I am one day closer to being the mother of three precious children!
